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Salt of the Earth - 1954, Black and White. I couldn't find captions on this library DVD.

A story of a miners' strike in New Mexico, told by Esperanza, who is the wife of a miner. Feminist, anti-racist, pro-union story, that was black listed by Hollywood. Recommended! I super enjoyed this and wish this was shown as a classic film in college classes. Content notes: police brutality, Catholic religion.

ETA: It's on YouTube legally http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE1oKQCwwo4

Aquaman - also a library DVD.

Very silly and fun, not to be taken seriously, and probably very forgettable, but the effects were nice. Was definitely too long. I do appreciate that there are indigenous actors in this big-budget film.

Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind

I don't think I'd seen this before, and it was entertaining and well done, but the characters we so thinly sketched, and the story was so simple, that it left me a bit cold. The slow pace relies on the creepiness of the aliens, and the special effects, which were state of the art 1977.

Richard Dreyfuss plays ordinary "every man" Roy Neary. He has a close encounter with aliens and subsequently develops an obsession with them. He compulsively draws a figure that turns out to be a clue about how to find the aliens' landing site. Prior to this encounter, he seemed to be a happily married father, though we get few details here. The behaviors he exhibits seem to be out of his control, and at the end he basically fucks off to go on a space adventure with the aliens, abandoning Earth and his family. I'm not sure what I as a viewer am supposed to take from this story.

The nature report! Today I saw sunflowers and star gazer lilies in bloom.

The tall grass is very tall and lush. There are lots of mosquitoes here especially in the evening, but not too bad out at the dog park.

I watched "The Old Guard" on Netflix and totally loved it. It's about a group of immortal warriors that work as mercenaries, taking jobs they feel do some good in the world. Looking forward to reading fan fic about these characters, especially because there are canon queers. Charlize Theron is amazing all the time, but I especially love when she goes butch and violent.

I was bored so I made a list of my current favorite movies.

( 63 movies )

Things blooming right now!

Orange day lilies, I believe they are called Tiger lilies. Stella d'Oro day lilies, which are a popular city plant with a bright yellow flower.

Bird's foot trefoil, which is a low-lying ground cover with a very cheerful yellow flower, sometimes seen along roadsides and in pastures. This plant is a Nitrogen fixer I think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotus_corniculatus

Milkweed! The only food source for Monarch caterpillars. There appear to be many varieties of milkweed; the ones around here have soft, broad leaves and a purple flower.

The spaghetti squash that I planted in the back have a few flowers.

Coming into fruit right now are mulberries. I found some in the neighborhood and picked them. They taste a bit like tart cherries.

Some things I watched recently!

Queer Eye - latest season, on Netflix. My heart grew three sizes!!

Funny Girl -
This was Not For Me, as the plot was largely about Fanny Brice's relationship with a man who seemed kind of sleazy. I liked the parts that were about her career as a successful performer: very confident, funny, and talented; and some of the songs are classics. I found it a bit odd that as a historical piece, the film never mentioned WWI at all. Brice started her career around 1908, and this film covers that and then her marriage which lasted until 1927.. It's nice to have watched classics like this for the cultural knowledge, but it was like 3 hours of a het relationship that I don't ship.

After a hiatus I am picking up Killjoys again, will write more on that later.

Oh, and! I finally watched Avengers: Endgame. I liked it more than I thought I would, and am mentally editing out the last 5 minutes of the film. I might even watch it again. It was too long, for sure, and some parts were bad, but I had spoiled myself for those bad parts by reading summaries, and so I was able to enjoy the other parts.

I'm definitely bored. It's not that I can't think of anything to do: it's that I don't really want to do those things, which is probably because of being lonely, sad, and/or tired. I'd rather do things with other people.

I miss books to prisoners a lot. So today I made sure it was OK to go into the space, and I went in and opened up boxes of donations. It felt so good just to do something useful, even if my back was cranky about it. I'll probably go in again tomorrow.

Blooming right now: the bean Catalpa trees, of which there are 4 in the neighborhood. My roommate said they look like trees out of a Studio Ghibli movie. Huge, heart-shaped leaves provide wonderful deep shade. The flowers are a cone of white blooms. Later in the year, long bean pods droop from the trees and fall onto the ground.

I bought a small fucshia at the garden store and it has one blossom and some buds. Today I moved some hosta plants in the backyard; I took them out of the full sun and planted them behind the building where it's shady. In the small garden plot out back, I have spaghetti squash and red cabbage, and it's fun to go out in the morning and water them with the hose.

I was bored enough, or let's say inspired by Queer Eye, to organize one of the kitchen cupboards and do a small bit of cleaning. I find this show to be very heartwarming and uplifting.

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Medication management is a whole job. I recently added 3 meds to my regimen, and I'm using 3 different pharmacies. The most efficient/preferred way to communicate with pharmacies is by phone, during business hours: a challenge if you have phone anxiety and a sleep disorder. Right now they are all doing delivery, which is at least convenient.

I mostly take pills, but I also take an injection and use an inhaler. I take over-the-counter meds and supplements too, and today I went to a 4th pharmacy (Walgreens) to restock those. I don't currently have to cut or prepare any of these pills, except for ones that come OTC in blister packs. Those, I open with a scissors and put into a glass jar. I store most of my meds in the same place, except for the one that has to be refrigerated.

Oh, and my dog gets one pill, which comes from yet another place, the vet's office. That one I store and think about separately, as it goes with the dog treats.

If and when I travel, I have to make sure to pack all of these, and make sure I have enough for a trip. Then there is monitoring the side effects, and remembering to take them at the correct times, and those are jobs too. And then there is handling insurance, something which thankfully I'm not having to do a lot of at the moment.

I can be hard on myself when I mess any of these steps up, but wow, it's a lot of work.

I feel like I have leveled up and deserve a Glitch-style badge.

A Secret Love - Netflix

This is a documentary about 2 older lesbians. I turned it off after 5 minutes, because it was giving time and voice to the homophobic relatives, which I found super irritating.

Douglas - comedy special by Hannah Gadsby - Netflix

Lovely and fun. She basically gives content notes at the beginning of the performance. Really enjoyed some of her use of language, like "pufferfish" meaning to react strongly and quickly to some minor annoyance.

Circus of Books - Netflix

A fascinating documentary that I'm still thinking about. The film maker, Rachel Mason interviews her parents, who are a straight Jewish couple who for decades ran a gay sex/porn shop in LA. They saw a business opportunity and took it, then just kind of kept running it out of momentum I guess? The husband/father (Barry) is a very easy-going, chill kind of guy. The wife/mother (Karen) is more complicated and difficult. Mason also talks to store employees, porn industry people, and her brothers.

One of her brothers is gay and the mom had a problem with it due to her conservative Jewish background. This was so odd? I mean i guess compartmentalization and all that, but it seemed like up until the brother came out to his parents, Karen seems to lack political awareness or an activist mindset. Some time afterwards, she and Barry joined PFLAG.

I wish Rachel Mason had pushed harder here, and raised the issue of appropriation. If you are profiting from the queer community, even modestly, don't you have a responsibility towards that community? Aren't there ethical issues with hiring and supervising people, with putting money into gay porn movies, with buying stock for your store, if you don't fully support what you are doing? This wasn't explored enough.

Still, I enjoyed this film, it was fun to watch.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire - 2024 - on Hulu in US
French with English subtitles

Wow! This film is incredible. Marianne, an artist hired to paint a portrait, arrives at a wind-blown island. Her subject is Héloïse, a young woman soon to be married; the portrait is for her betrothed. Héloïse is resistant to marriage, and thus will not sit for a portrait. Thus Marianne pretends to be a walking companion, and studies her subject covertly, until she can finish the painting.

There are just 4 main characters, all of them women; men hardly speak in the film. There is little dialog: this film is very visual, with long shots of womens' faces. The camera holds us in the scene, makes us wait, encourages us to look with Marianne's eyes.

Spoilers below the cut....

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We had about 3 days of Spring, and now it's hot and muggy. Too hot for me, but the plants like it. Today I moved some more house plants outside. I started a few spaghetti squash from seed and planted them in the back. Lilacs and Wild Rocket are blooming.

Today my roommate and I saw two Sandhill Cranes with two chicks. The chicks looked half-grown already, despite the cool Spring. They were lounging under a Willow tree near the convention center. I turned my car around and drove back for another look.

WisCon was all online this year; a combination of live youtube streams, Discord chats, and Zoom room parties. I loved the vid show, which worked pretty well. I liked being able to watch panels after the fact and from the comfort of my home. I didn't spend much time on the Discord, which was a little overwhelming. Rebecca Roanhorse, the guest of honor, seems thoughtful, funny, and kind. She spoke about using reading and writing for survival.

Attending online means I didn't get to see many friends except on Zoom calls, but overall it was much less exhausting to experience a con this way. WisCon always feels like it feeds my soul, and I did get a bit of that this year too.

I would really like to make vids, and so I'm going to try and write out the barriers I've experienced, and see if it helps.

( Read more... )

Had a few hard days lately. What suited my mood was watching a certain type of movie about sports and consensual violence.

Warrior - 2011

I feel like I've written about "Warrior" before? Maybe? It is on Hulu in the US right now and stars Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, Nick Nolte, and Jennifer Morrison who was in "House" and "Once upon a time". I absolutely love this movie.

In some ways this is a very silly movie about people struggling with masculinity and with a dysfunctional family. These men can't work out their emotions and relationships so they do it via MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting. The plot is elevated, however, by excellent acting, editing, and other movie magic elements, so the film is just so affecting and emotional. It is a wonderful example of a sports film. It's 2 hours and 20 min but I was glued to the screen the whole time, absolutely invested.

Tommy (Tom Hardy) shows up at his dad's doorstep in Pittsburgh. Pops used to be a real asshole but is now reformed. Tommy doesn't want a relationship with his dad, he just wants his dad to train him so he can fight and win. Tom Hardy is a very physical actor, and so interesting to watch; he moves like a tiger, head down, huge shoulders prowling towards you. You feel that at any moment he's going to bust out of his cage and cause mayhem.

Meanwhile in Philadelphia, Brendon, Tommy's estranged brother, is living a pretty straight-laced suburban life. He has a family and is a high school physics teacher. He's hurting for money and is in danger of losing his house, due to medical bills for one of the kids. He used to be a UFC fighter, and picks up a fight to earn some quick cash. When he shows up to school with a black eye, he gets suspended. So he decides to do some more fighting and gets himself a professional trainer. Brendon has a different fighting style, very controlled, technical, patient.

Both brothers will compete for a one-time, 5 million dollar MMA prize, being offered in Atlantic City.

There is a plot twist involving Tommy's time in the military, which I won't spoil for you.

Content notes: alcoholism, brief mention of past spousal abuse. People beating the shit out of each other in the ring.

I already feel like I'm losing it, and then tonight there is a very loud, low, humming noise coming from the ceiling right over my bed. This is in addition to the very loud air conditioner which the upstairs neighbors are also running constantly. Today Christina had to ask them to move away from our open windows while they smoked.

I am unable to sleep, so I'm just going to plan on staying up all night. It's a lot easier to sleep in the daytime even with noise happening, and I feel bad about it, because I guess I need something to feel bad about. Even though I have literally no where to be and no time commitments. Going to try to lean into the vampire lifestyle. Pain remains high, mostly in my face and mouth, but also tonight in my feet. As always, writing it out helps.

Animals seen today: lots of dogs including a Dalmation; a fish in the creek; a red-wing blackbird; Canada geese. Lilacs are starting to bloom.

Here is a good article about the making of Mad Max: Fury Road (warning for a moving image at the top of the article).
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XKCD today is really good:
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Today's Shower Thoughts are about how tattoos and piercings might be a form of gender expression.

Although such things are very common in my community, I've resisted tattoos, piercings, even hair dye. I feel about them much the same way I do about makeup: looks good on other people, but don't want it anywhere near my skin.

As a friend pointed out else-net, we don't really know what gender *is*. It could be anything.

"Hollywood" on Netflix is a new limited series by Ryan Murphy and Janet Mock (both are queer). I don't mean to yuck anyone's yum, but this show is a MESS. I was with it for the first episode or two, but it was very rushed at the end, and is the kind of show where I keep thinking about new things that bothered me.

This show is mostly about a group of people in 1947 Hollywood who are trying to make a progressive film, at first called "Peg" but later changed to "Meg." The film is about a struggling actress trying to make it in Hollywood, so there are 3 levels of meta going on here: it's a show about a movie about an actress, which is ambitious, and interesting, but ultimately unsuccessful.

There are some good things going for this show: good actors, older women in powerful roles, queer people, fun 1947 fashion, and people who are trying to help each other out.

( anti-squee )

I marathoned through all the available episodes of "911". The 1st and 3rd seasons are on Hulu, and I went to some shady website to watch the 2nd season since the library is not really an option at the moment. This is the original series for which "911 Lonestar" (which I watched previously) is the spinoff.

This is an over-the-top drama with lots of ridiculous situations, but it is largely fun and undemanding, the characters are endearing, and there is a diverse cast. I like that it's about rescues and trying to help people.

In particular, I love the friendship between Athena (Angela Bassett), and Hen (Aisha Hinds). Hen (short for Henrietta) is a married lesbian EMT, and Athena is a cop who is having family drama: her husband has just come out as gay. They are both tremendously good actors, and it's so heartening to see this friendship between two competent black women. Tracie Thoms plays Karen, Hen's wife, who is a PhD-level scientist.

In the first season, Connie Britton plays Abby, a 911 dispatcher, who has an adorable romance with a much younger firefighter. In the second season, there's a new 911 dispatcher played by Jennifer Love Hewitt. All these women are age 40 or older, which is so great!! Some of them play characters who are younger than the actors which is the opposite of how it usually is in Hollywood.

There are a couple of characters with disabilities, played by disabled actors. There's an Asian-American firefighter, and a Latinx one. I particularly love Chimney, played by Kenneth Choi (Morita in the MCU!). He is super charming.

The two white guys on the show are pretty boring, and/or obnoxious, and the writers need to stop with the man pain and women in refrigerators. Bobby, the fire captain, hits all the points on this one: alcoholic, failed to save his family from a fire, has Catholic guilt, keeps secrets. Luckily this is mostly resolved by season 2.

Positives:
--Lesbian and gay characters, characters of color, disabled characters.
--Characters who are good people and try to do the right thing.
--Some humorous moments
--Found/created family at the firehouse
--Pretty quick pacing, although that may be down to the fact that I watched it very quickly. If I was annoyed with a plot line, it usually wrapped up fast and moved onto something else.

Negatives:
--Occasional body horror
--OTT drama both in the characters personal lives, and in the rescue situations.
--Women in Refrigerators / man pain
--A bit of "inspirational disabled kid"
--Super-speed healing for injured characters
--Some fat phobia in one episode

Misc content notes:
--suicide/ self-harm, domestic violence and stalking, blood, cheating, cancer, death, lots of medical things, natural disasters.

Crip Camp - Netflix

A very good documentary that starts out by profiling Camp Jened, a summer camp for disabled people, and the people who attended and worked there in the 1960-70s. The film follows several of these people who went on to be very active in the disability rights movement. Some of this information was familiar to me, and some was new.

Content note: There is some footage of Willowbrook Institution, where disabled people were abused and neglected.

Extreme Rescues - Hulu

I've watched the first 6 episodes of this, which is the total of what is available right now. I think it is still airing on live TV. I am fascinated with rescue and survival stories, and so I enjoyed the heck out of this. There are 3 rescues in each hour-long episode. The show relies heavily on helmet cams, which are popular among adventurers, and also used by rescuers. This means there is some shaky-cam footage of very real, harrowing moments. It's heart-pounding! Real life has a lot of drama and weird scenarios!

I like what these stories say about humans: sometimes people are reckless, and sometimes bad shit happens, but other people come to the rescue. And some people maybe have a strong will to survive, and maybe miracles occur.

There aren't a ton of repeated scenarios, but typically they might be: a trapped caver, a mountain climber in trouble, someone who was hiking and fell off a ledge. Lots of helicopter rescues.

My brother N. says he is able to make face masks, but not sure who needs them. He lives in a small city in Northern Wisconsin, and he's not an internet person. He's an engineer and has 3D printers both at home and at work.

Anyone know info I can send on to him?

I was about 18 and working at the county fair as the "poultry superintendent" which means I organized the 4-H poultry show and served as a resource for questions. One of the other volunteers was a woman about my mom's age, super nice but I don't remember her name right now. We were talking about being shy and she said, "give yourself ten years." This was really good advice. I encountered other people around that time who said they were formerly shy but it got better as they got older. Indeed, this happened to me. Sometimes, I consciously worked on my social skills. Other times, I just had to wait out my anxiety to a certain extent.

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